Myth- People involved in battering are poor or unemployed, and lower class.

Fact-One third to one half of all women (regardless of socioeconomic status) will be beaten by an intimate partner sometime during their lifetime.

Myth-Men/women who batter are "sick."

Fact- Batterers are not "sick." They have learned to use violence to deal with stress and frustration, and as an effective means of controlling their partner.

Myth- Drugs and/or alcohol cause violent behavior.

Fact- Addictions are used as excuses to free the batterer from responsibility for the behavior

("The drugs made me do it"). This does not explain why the batterer uses violence, why he/she targets their spouse/partner for abuse, nor why he batters when sober. People who use violence when drunk are likely to do so when sober.

Myth- Women enjoy being beaten, and provoke the violence-why else would they stay?

Fact- Battered women are not a personality type; any woman can find herself battered. Abused women do not enjoy the beatings, but frequently hear comments from their abuser like, "I did it for your own good," or from outsiders, "You must have really made him mad." These statements can confuse a victim and lead her to take responsibility for the violence or blame herself.

Sometimes a woman can sense that the tension is escalating in her relationship and that a beating is imminent. As a result, she may start a fight to "get it over with" and end the unendurable tension, or she may argue with her batterer publicly so that outsiders can witness his cruelty. These behaviors should not be defined as provocation.

Myth- Battered women do not seek help, nor will they use it once it is offered.

Fact- Most battered women make many efforts to stop the violence or to seek help from agencies in the community. Often, they are greeted with responses that encourage them to reunite with the abuser or that ignore the abuse. In a recent survey of conservative Protestant clergy, 21% felt that no amount of abuse would ever justify a wife leaving her husband, and 26% agreed with the statement that " a wife should submit to her husband and trust that God would honor her action by either stopping the abuse or giving her the strength to endure it." A study at Yale Newhaven hospital found that one out of four battered women leaves the hospital with a diagnosis of "neurotic," "hypochondriac," or "a well known patient with multiple vague complaints." This study traced how the issue of violence is hidden and the woman herself is labeled the problem.

Faced with this hostile community response, many battered women are reluctant to ask for assistance. However, when they are greeted with empathy, battered women are often willing to reach out for help and courageously share their stories.

Myth- All batterers in relationships are men.

Fact- Batterers come in all shapes and sizes. They can be men and women.

Myth-“Indian Lovin’ is supposed to hurt. Bruises are “normal.”

Fact- Love should not physically hurt. It is not right to lash out in anger and physically harm another person, especially the one that you love.

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