A man or a woman experiencing domestic violence in a relationship can feel very trapped or feel that there is no way out. Fortunately, that is not the case. There is a way out. It takes a lot of courage and strength to leave an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, it will take several tries before a clean break is permanently made. If you or someone you know is in that rut, here is some advice for protection.

Elements Of A Safety Plan

1. Safety during a violent incident that occurs in the home

Try to avoid arguments in small rooms, rooms with access to weapons (e.g., the kitchen) or rooms without access to an outside door. Be aware that alcohol and other drugs can decrease your ability to act quickly to protect yourself and your children.

Know which doors, windows or fire escapes you and your children would use if you have to quickly escape to safety. Know where you would go once you left the house. If possible, practice taking this route.

If you can, tell a friend or neighbor to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your home or over the telephone.

Arrange use of a code word with children or friends so they know when they should call for help.

Teach children how to use the telephone to contact police or fire agencies (911, if available, is preferable to dialing “O”).

The following items should be hidden in a place where they may quickly be accessed in an emergency:

*Identification for self and children (e.g., driver’s license, social security cards, birth

certificates, green cards, passports)

*Important documents (e.g., school and health records, welfare identification, insurance

records, automobile titles, lease or rental agreements, mortgage papers, marriage license,

address book)

*Copies of any protective or restraining orders, divorce or custody papers or the court

documents

*Money, checkbook, bank book and credit card (if possible, in your own name)

*A small supply of any prescription medicines or a list of the drugs, their dosages and the

name, address, and phone number of the prescribing physician

*Clothing, toys and other comfort items for self and children

*Items of special sentimental value

*Small, sellable objects

*Extra set of keys to car, house, office and safe-deposit box

*Telephone numbers and addresses of family and friends

*List of community resources for domestic violence with telephone numbers

2. Safety if you no longer live with the batterer

Change the locks on doors and windows as soon as possible.

Try to live where doors are secure (e.g., steel/metal instead of wood).

When possible, install safety devices such as extra locks, window bars, outdoor lights that detect the approach of a person and an electronic security system.

Install smoke detectors, purchase fire extinguishers and have rope ladders for upper floor windows (kept inaccessible from the outside until needed).

3. Safety on the job

Is there someone at work who can be informed of the situation, such as a coworker, supervisor or employee assistance counselor?

Can calls be screened by voice mail? Can a receptionist or coworker screen calls or visitors?

Have a plan for safely arriving at and leaving work and other public places. Vary the time of arrival and departure and the routes used to and from work and children’s school.

Every Victim Should Know That Domestic Violence:

Occurs often in our society.

Continues over time and increases in frequency and severity.

May have damaging long-term effects on children who are hurt or who witness violence.

Is a crime.

Resources are available to help.

THE BEST PLAN OF ACTION IS TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP.