Name: The Mended Hoop Talking Circle

Case file: Ten Native Americans participate in The Mended Hoop Talking Circle once a week for an hour. They meet to discuss problems related to alcoholism and violence.

Setting: All members are seated in a circle.

Counselor: (Scanning the room) Who’s going to get us started today? (Holding up the can) Remember that you must have the can in your hands in order to speak. Please respect one anther and wait your turn to speak.

Anna: (Raising her hand and reaching for the can) Actually, I have something that is bothering me, Could I go first?

Counselor: (As he hands her the can) Sure Anna, go on.

Anna: (Staring intently at the can and turning it over in her hands) I guess I want to talk about a friend of mine; she told me something last night I just don’t know what to do for her. She told me that she is having problems dealing with something that happened at the forty-nine last spring. She was raped and now she is severely depressed. I was there, and I remember she was pretty buzzed when I left. Man, I feel guilty for leaving early.

Counselor: (reaching for the can) You couldn’t have known what was going to happen. Helping her get through this right now is the most important thing you can do for her.

Missy: (Reaching for the can) I think that when guys drink they expect to feel more powerful, and they also interpret girl’s actions the way they want to see them. I think some guys go out planning to have sex; and they interpret a woman’s actions to fit their plans, and ignore any of her actions that indicate she doesn’t want to sleep with him.

John: I think that is true; I think women know that, and I think that is one of the reasons that they go out and party. (Sarcastically) Or else they would just go party with other girls.

Missy: Just because a girl goes out and parties doesn’t mean she is asking to get raped. If you find out a guy was drunk when he raped some girl, you don’t hold him as responsible, but if you find out the girl was drunk, you act like she deserved it—like she is more accountable.

Lucas: If a girl gets drunk, her mind is all messed up, and she might not realize the guy she is with is going to hurt her, or she may not realize that her flirting is making a guy think she is wants to sleep with him.

Counselor: Studies have shown that men under the influence of alcohol are inclined to misperceive a woman’s friendliness as a sign of sexual interest.

Missy: Lots of times guys think it is okay to force a woman to have sex if she is leading them on or they think she is being a tease. But you know there is nothing in the law that says that sexual provocation, whether intentional or not, is a justification for rape. Sex with someone unable to give consent, like if she is drunk, is also considered rape.

Lucas: I understand what you are saying, Missy, but not all guys are like that.

James: Yeah, and sometimes things get really messed up when people drink, and two people can have totally different ideas about what’s going on between them.

Counselor: Alcohol-intoxicated men are more likely to misunderstand a woman’s actions which can lead to sexual assault. However, it is important to realize that alcohol may be a factor, but it is not the cause of rape. If you choose to drink, you are responsible for what your actions, alcohol consumption is no justification or excuse for rape. Misunderstandings are not the only reason for rape. Studies show that the majority of acquaintance rapes are planned in advance by the perpetrator. (Turning to Anna) Anna, has your friend been able to seek help? You know the most important thing that you can do for her is to believe her and reassure her that you know the assault was not her fault.

Anna: I think I am the first person she has been able to tell.

Counselor: For Native women reporting sexual assault can be really difficult. There is a high level of mistrust for white agencies; furthermore native women often fear being ostracized by their families. And finally, there are the complicated jurisdictional issues on the reservation. But, first and foremost, is the safety of your friend. Encourage her to talk to you but don’t be intrusive, be patient and just listen. Help her to understand the importance of getting medical attention. Even though it is best to seek medical attention within 72 hours of the rape, it is still important that she see a doctor, for possible STD’s as well as making sure she has not suffered any other physical trauma. Be a supportive friend and help her find a rape crisis advocate to be with her during the medical and legal proceedings if she chooses to go through with it. Encourage her to seek help, but as you know, it is most important that you respect her confidentiality.

Anna: I am so worried about her.

Counselor: She is lucky to have you as a friend. Make sure you take care of yourself as well. It is natural for those close to the victim to experience their own reactions to the trauma, and it is important that you seek the support that you need, which, I am glad to see that you have done today.

Missy: (Reaches over to hug Anna) Yeah, take care of yourself.

Counselor: I think we are going to have to wrap it up here. Is this an okay place to end?

Anna: Yeah, I feel better getting it off my chest. I hope she will listen to me.

Counselor: Okay, I want to thank all of you for your input. I have some quotations and fact sheets that address the issues of the sexual assault of Indian women that I would like to share with you. I also have this pamphlet (handing it to Anna) Help For Victims of Rape.

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