Single parent families have hectic lives. Most singles parents feel they have too little time and too much to do. The first step to making the most of your time, however, is thinking about your goals. What is important to you?

Why Have Goals?

Having goals helps define what is important to you. It helps you decide how to spend your time. Goals are something meaningful for a person to work to achieve. Goals usually answer the question: Who wants what and when? You may have personal goals, such as making time to do fun family activities, working together to save money for a family vacation, or volunteering together.

Determine Your Goals

All families have a set of values or beliefs that are important. Thinking about your values help to develop your goals. One family may value "family time" or to eat dinner together or one family may value cooperation. Family members find ways to help each other. Having goals gives you something to work toward. Think about the following fquestions and then list one or two goals for each.

* What do I want for myself?
* What do I want for my children?
* What do I want from my children?
* What do we want as a family?

Prioritize Your Goals

Include the entire family when deciding the family's major goals. Goals maybe short-range (eat dinner together twice this week), intermediate (in three months, I will be in better physical health), or long-term (in a year, we will go on a family vacation). It's easier to reach your goals if you focus only on one or two goals at a time. Working toward too many goals at the same time makes it hard to reach any of your goals. Ask yourself the following questions and write down your responses to help you think about which of the goals you listed above are important and why.

* How many of your goals are material goods or things that can be purchased?
* Why are these goals important to you and to your family?
* Are these goals realistic?
* How do the goals affect your behavior?
* How do these goals affect other people in your family?
* How much time do you currently spend working toward each of your goals?

Look at your list of goals and think about these questions. Assign a letter to each goal to show how important that goals is to you. Assign an "A" if it is very important, a "B" if it is somewhat important, a "C" if it is less important, etc.

Reaching Your Goals

You may now have many goals in mind, but how can you reach them? The following
steps should help you reach your goals. Try these steps with one of your goals.

* Define the goal.
* List all the possible ways to reach the goal.
* Develop a plan to reach the goal.
* Carry out and evaluate the plan. 
* Ask yourself and your family how the plan is working. 
* Be flexible and make changes to your plan if needed.

Review the goal. Did the plan work well?

For example:

Define goal: To have time to exercise three times a week.

Possible ways to reach goal: Get up early, take a long lunch, or make time right before dinner.

Plan: Get up one hour early on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Evaluate: Am I too tired to get up early? Do I need to make time during the day?

Review: The plan worked because I could change it and still meet my goal to exercise.

Make the Most of Your Time

Reaching goals is learning how to make the most of your time. The good news is there are things to do to “save” time. Check three ideas from the following list that you will try.

* Plan daily “To Do” lists & post the list in the kitchen or someplace where you will see it.
* Allow small blocks of time for working toward goals and planning.
* Prioritize goals using the “A-B-C” system described above. 
* Remember not to fill your time on “C” activities that are not as important.
* Get up early one or two days a week - use the time to think and plan.
* Plan ahead for meals. Make extra meals on weekends and freeze them for the week ahead.
* Write down a list of main dishes for the week as a reminder.
* Schedule appointments together.
* Have a special place to post reminders and special notes.
* Schedule time to relax.
* Use your “waiting time” to relax, read, or plan.
* Make a list of emergency phone numbers and post it.
* Plan time for family meetings to discuss goals, family decisions, and fun activities.

Barriers and Ways to Change…

It is easy reading about what to do. Yet, actually making the most of your time is another story! Knowing what some of the barriers are to making the most of your time should help you develop useful ways to maximize your time.

Barrier: Putting off until later what needs to be done now.

Change: Divide a project into small deadlines and reward yourself for meeting each deadline. 

Barrier: Expecting perfection.

Change: Work toward doing your best rather than perfection.

Barrier: Fear of saying no.

Change: Practice different ways of saying no. 

Barrier: Clutter.

Change: Organize. Have a folder for receipts, for school forms, for emergencies, etc.

Barrier: Thinking about the past.

Change: Focus on things you can change and work toward the future. 

Make the time to think about your dreams and what you want to accomplish.

Sources:
Parenting on Your Own by Robert Hughes Jr., Cooperative Extension, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign
Family Focus: Supportive Connections for Single Parent Families, University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension

Credit:
Mary W. Temke, Ph.D., Extension Specialist, Human Development developed this fact sheet, with assistance from Wendy Walsh, a graduate student in the University of New Hampshire’s Department of Family Studies. Approved for use in Montana by Stephen F. Duncan, Ph.D., Family & Human Development Specialist, MSU Extension Service.