Montana State University |
Montana State University |
By Steve Duncan
MSU Extension Service
4/30/97 BOZEMAN - - Spanking of children by parents is legal in every state of the United States.
According to national surveys, over 90 percent of parents have spanked their children at least once during the past year. The majority of parents support the idea of spanking and believe that giving youngsters "a good, hard spanking" is sometimes necessary. As many as 80 to 90 percent of the U.S. population reports that parents have not only the right, but the moral obligation to spank or slap.
A recent national study of mothers showed that 3- to 5-year-olds may be spanked by them as often as 150 times a year. Mothers spank more than fathers, and boys are spanked more often than girls.
Professional advice about spanking is mixed. In one review of 31 of the most widely circulated books on parenting, 35 percent said nothing at all about spanking, 30 percent encouraged spanking, and 35 percent discouraged it.
Among researchers, there is a fairly heated debate over the effects of spanking.
Critics of spanking cite research that children who are physically punished, especially harshly, are at risk for being more aggressive toward peers and toward their own children when they become parents. These children are at increased risk for becoming delinquent and emotionally maladjusted. This group of experts recommend that the United States should follow the example of some European countries and totally outlaw spanking by teachers and parents.
Other experts believe that the connection between spanking and bad outcomes for children has been overstated. They point to studies that show that spanking, when used in the context of a loving family, can be effective in reducing unwanted behavior without increasing a child's aggressive behavior. Other studies show that the real problem is not the spanking, but the quality of the relationship with the parent. If a parent is an accepting person and involved in a child's life, these qualities counteract the potential negative effect of spanking.
Where do you stand on this issue?
Whether or not an occasional "quick swat on the bottom" is harmful, there is no evidence to show that spanking actually helps kids or improves parent-child relationships. Some research actually shows that adolescents whose parents spank frequently are less likely to feel their parent really cares about them.
At the same time, if parents do slip and spank occasionally, it's probably overstating to say that they have consigned their child to a negative future. Or, if an occasional spanking is preceded with an explanation and followed up by an increase of love (like hugs, or an apology if necessary) immediately following the action, any negative outcome is likely to be minimized.
Nevertheless, spanking is risky parent behavior. We can't tell what the long-term emotional outcome of a spanking will be on an individual child. What might begin as a "swift swat on the bottom" may escalate to physical injury. A spanking can generate strong feelings of anger and defiance in a child, which may limit its effectiveness in deterring bad behavior. Spanking may model violence against others as a way to resolve conflicts.
For example, one mother of a little girl my wife taught in preschool thought she should begin giving her daughter a spanking for misbehavior. Not long afterward, the preschooler began hitting her classmates when things didn't go her way. When my wife reported her girls' hitting, the mother immediately stopped the spanking. The result:The little girl stopped hitting her peers in class.
Resorting to spanking to discipline children is easy for a parent to do, particularly when under stress. As parents, we are faced with a difficult balancing act in establishing authority: to use our power to identify, introduce and enforce reasonable limits, while gradually giving freedom to children by encouraging them to be appropriately responsible for themselves.
The most effective way to exercise benevolent authority involves a delicate balance between warmth and strictness.
This style consists of:
Check with your Extension Service to learn of parent education programs and materials available in your community that help parents develop effective approaches to guiding their children.
Duncan has a doctorate in family studies from Purdue University.
If you have questions or comments you can send them to Steve Duncan and Carol Flaherty, MSU Communications Services, Bozeman, MT 59717.
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