Feeling stressed around the holidays? Try these tips!

BOZEMAN -- Experiencing stress around the holidays is common, but it doesn't have to be overpowering, says Steve Duncan, a family and human development specialist for the Montana State University Extension Service.

"Regardless of your personal or family traditions, this season is a time for family gathering and peace," says Duncan. "But instead of taking time to have fun and search for meaning in life, most of us try to do too many things in too little time. We agonize over housekeeping, gift-giving, decorating, food and visiting. We end up feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, and we actually yearn to have the holidays over!"

Duncan dubs this affliction "holly-expectomania," and he says one of the keys to overcoming holiday stress is simply to have realistic expectations.

"Our expectations are molded by the influences around us," says Duncan. "Instead, they should be based on our own pacing. Think to yourself, 'If I make just one more commitment, I will not be enjoying this'," Duncan says. Instead, he advises people to plan early and to know the limits of what you can do without feeling distress.

To help people cope with life's daily stressors -- holiday and otherwise -- Duncan has created the StressDek, a pocket-sized deck of 50 cards containing stress-management tips. These are a few strategies from the StressDek:

Things You Love. Filling your life with things you love is a wonderful way to deal with stress. Think about the things you love. Do you love to sing? Do you love to be alone in nature? Do you love to talk with friends? Make a list of 20 things you love to do. Now pick the ones you love most. Ask yourself: "What can I do to make time for the things I love most?" Then make a plan to do them. Set aside money for them. Ask others to help you do them.

Take It Easy. Try to slow down and enjoy your leisure time. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is nothing at all. Don't cram your days off with endless chores -- make an effort to relax and enjoy your free time. Loaf a little. Set your overscheduled lifestyle aside occasionally. Play regularly, but don't compete. Put some fun into your life every day.

Saying No. Learn to say no to requests you can't reasonably handle. Memorize a variety of ways to say no: "No, I'd rather not," "Thank you for asking, but I'd better not take on another commitment right now," or simply "No, thank you." Don't feel guilty or make excuses for your response. If you say "no" now but want to say "yes" at a later date, say something like this: "I'd be happy to serve on that committee in the future, but right now I'm booked up."

The best stress management technique of all, says Duncan, is just to take delight in what you enjoy and appreciate the simpler things in life. Breathe in. Breathe out. Relax.

The StressDek can be ordered through all county MSU Extension offices, or send $4.95 plus $1 shipping to: MSU Extension Publications, 115 Culbertson Hall, Bozeman, MT 59717. Credit card orders call (406) 994-3273. For guaranteed stocking stuffer delivery, orders should be placed by Dec. 13. Several other stress-management publications are also available from MSU Extension -- see your county office for details.

If you read this, we need to know who you are! Please send your name, city/state/country and the name of the topic you read to Carol Flaherty, MSU Communications Services, Bozeman, MT 59717 or email to carolf@montana.edu.

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