Sexual consent is saying yes to the sexual activities that you are comfortable and willing to engage in. Saying yes to one type of sexual activity does not mean that you have given consent to other types of sexual activities. It is important to discuss with your partner what you both are comfortable with engaging in.
Asking your partner what they are okay with before engaging in any sexually activity is very important. While you might be nervous to ask, there a lot of different ways to go about asking.
Ways to ask for consent:
Asking for consent doesn’t have to get awkward, feel free to make it fun!
- “I’d really like to kiss you, is it okay if I do?”
- “I think it would be sexy if you took your shirt off. How would you feel if I take it off for you?”
- “I really like where things are going and I want to have sex with you. Am I pressuring you? Would you be okay with that?”
Ways to double check for consent:
You can always double check with your partner by asking things like:
- “Is this okay?”
- “Does this feel good?”
- “Do you want to keep going?”
- “Should I do anything differently?”
- “Do you still want to do this?”
If you and your partner are moving into doing different sexual activities, it is important to double check that there is consent given for each new activity.
What to do if you or your partner changes their mind:
At any point in time you or your partner is allowed to change their mind. You or your partner should never feel pressured to engage in any activity that is uncomfortable or unwanted.
When it is not consent:
- “No” means no.
- “Not now” means no.
- “Maybe” means no.
- “Maybe later” means no.
Consent is something that is given in an environment that doesn’t make the person feel forced, pressured, persuaded, or guilty.
- If someone is intoxicated, they cannot legally give consent.
- If someone is unconscious, blacked out, or asleep, they cannot give consent.
If you have any further questions about consent, check out The Voice Center’s website.