VOICE Sexual Assault & Childhood Trauma

We all have different reactions to difficult experiences and this is true for individuals who have experienced sexual assault. Each victim has a unique reaction to the assault and may respond to

the crisis in a variety of ways. Some of the more common responses are described below to help victims and their loved ones better understand the impact of sexual violence.

We are here to help all people affected by sexual violence. Let us know how we can support you.

Humiliation

Many sexual assault survivors feel ashamed, embarrassed, and humiliated. This sense may be heightened by misinformation that victims should be able to protect themselves.

Shame and Self-Blame Many survivors blame themselves for the assault – blame themselves for something they did or didn’t do, for what they wore, for not fighting back. This reaction is often an attempt to regain control. Remember, it is never the victim’s fault. Only the perpetrator had the power to prevent the assault.

Guilt Guilt often comes from the sense that the individual could have and should have done something more to protect themselves or to prevent the assault. Again, the person responsible for the assault is the perpetrator (not the victim).

Fear of People Some sexual assault survivors thought they were going to lose their lives during the assault and some may still be in the presence of, or in close proximity to, their perpetrator, especially in small communities (e.g., family, social groups, rural communities). Over time, the survivor may experience flashbacks that make them feel intensely afraid or they may experience a less intense, more prolonged sense fear.

Feeling of Loss of Control Sexual assault, in itself, is a traumatic loss of control. During an assault, an individual’s right to make decisions about their body and control the contact they have with another person is destroyed. After the assault, this loss of control may result in difficulty making decisions or asserting feelings and needs.

Concern for the Perpetrator In some cases, a survivor may express concern about what will happen to the perpetrator if the assault is reported to the police. The victim may know, care about, and/or be dependent upon the offender (as in the case of an intimate partner). This is a valid reaction and, while it may be confusing or frustrating, a victim’s support system can be instrumental in understanding those feelings while keeping the survivor safe.

Grief An assault is a profound loss and can be characterized by intense sadness. A survivor may feel their life has been shattered to such an extent that they will never recover. A strong support system can help relieve this grief and move the survivor through the healing process.

Depression A deep feeling of emptiness, remorse, and unhappiness may set in following a sexual assault. This reaction may result in survivors feeling hopeless, immobilized, and unable to make decisions. Depression often makes survivors feel like everything is going wrong and nothing will ever be resolved.

Denial Some survivors respond to the trauma of an assault by minimizing the experience, refusing to talk about the assault, or by blocking it out of their consciousness altogether.

Anger and Irritability Sexual assault may result in tremendous rage. While anger is a natural and healthy response, it may be misdirected towards family members, law enforcement, attorneys, or others who may be trying to offer assistance. However, sometimes this anger is appropriately directed towards people surrounding the survivor. A trained sexual assault advocate can help survivors and loved ones better understand this reaction and guide healthy, safe expression of this anger.

Preoccupation with Disease, Pregnancy, or Death Survivors may focus on the worst-case physical outcomes that may accompany the sexual assault. HIV infection is a common concern, and survivors may react to the assault by focusing on their potential mortality. It is important to take these concerns seriously. Some survivors may have still be in danger or may require medical attention.

Risk of Suicide Some survivors of sexual assault may respond by contemplating and/or threatening suicide. It is important to be aware of this risk and to take any signs of suicide seriously. For more information about resources for suicide prevention, please visit: http://www.montana.edu/suicide-prevention/

If you are dealing with an unwanted sexual experience it may be useful to talk with someone who is knowledgeable about the issues. People in this situation may feel a wide variety of emotions such as being confused, outraged, frightened, overwhelmed, scared, sad, anxious, and depressed.

Experiencing violence can create a host of practical and emotional consequences. While you may want to talk to someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, there are also confidential campus resources available including the MSU Counseling & Psychological services, VOICE Center, and MSU Police Department. MSU’s Counseling & Psychological Services and MSU VOICE Center provide free and highly confidential counseling to students which can be an extremely important part of the healing process.

Many survivors seek out a supervisor, professor, or individual in a position of trust to help provide support. Be advised: some of these people may have an obligation to report.

When you seek help from professionals, first ask what level of confidentiality they can provide, who they are required to tell if you were to disclose information regarding an incident. That way, you can make an informed decision.

Some things you might discuss:

· Figuring out what you feel and think about what is going on.

· Getting information that will help you assess the situation, and figure out what you want to

do.

· Talking about how to manage your academics or work given your situation.

· Getting help with changing your classes or working with your professors.

· Talking about making a safety plan, if needed.

· Getting medical treatment if you have injuries or are worried about your health.

· Changing where you live to get some space, or safety.

· Reporting to the police, the MSU Dean of Students, or the Title IX Coordinator if appropriate.

 

MSU Counseling & Psychological Services

Confidential & Free Counseling 994-4531

 

MSU VOICE Center

24-Hour Confidential Support Line 994-7069

Information, Support, Advocacy, and Counseling

Especially in the first 72 hours, medical concerns like pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STI) or injuries may be important to address. Even after 72 hours have passed, treatment is available and may put your mind at ease. There is a difference between getting treatment from a medical professional and having medical evidence collected for a possible investigation.

Evidence collection, often referred to as the “rape kit,” is done at the Bozeman Deaconess Emergency Room by a trained Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. You can learn more about the forensic rape exam by calling the 24-Hour VOICE Center Support Line at 406-994-7069 or the Bozeman Help Center at 406-586-3333. Advocates are available to meet you at the hospital to offer additional support and information. Through Montana’s Forensic Rape Examination Payment Program (FREPP), you can have evidence collected even if you do not know whether or not you want to report the crime to the police. If you think there is a possibility that you will decide to report the assault to the police, it is best to get the forensic exam done as soon as possible. The exam itself will be paid for and you have up to a year to decide if you want to report and use the evidence.

If you have injuries related to an assault, and want treatment, but no evidence collection, please go to the doctor. Keep in mind that if you are under the age of 18 or have significant physical injury, doctors may be required to report the assault to the police. If you want, you can ask about reporting requirements before receiving treatment.

If you do not feel you want or need an emergency room visit or evidence collection, but are concerned about pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, you have several options:

 

MSU Student Health Services 406-994-2311,

Bridger Care 406-587-0681,

or your primary-care physician can provide emergency contraception and/or STI testing and treatment.

 

For more information about all your options, contact:

24-Hour VOICE Center Support Line at 406-994-7069

or the

Bozeman Help Center/Sexual Assault Counseling Center at 406-586-3333

· What just happened?

o After a sexual assault, many survivors try to rationalize what happened to them. They may be confused about what to do, what to think, and how to proceed.

· Was this my fault?

o Most survivors of sexual assault tend to blame themselves for the assault as a way of rationalizing what has happened to them.

· What will people think?

o One of the most common fears among survivors of sexual assault is the fear of what other people will think. Many survivors are afraid of being blamed for the assault or not being believed.

· What do I do now?

o After a sexual assault, survivors may be in shock and wondering where to turn. Some survivors may want to immediately seek help whereas other survivors may not want any help.

· What about the perpetrator?

o 89% of rape and sexual assault crimes are committed by someone that the survivor knows; an acquaintance, friend, family member, significant other, or authority figure. Many survivors decide not to report or move forward because they are afraid of the repercussions from the perpetrator.

· Listen- Providing the survivor with a safe space to talk through their feelings without fear of interruption or judgment is very helpful.

· Believe- One of the most common reasons people do not seek help or report their experience after an assault is due to the fear if not being believed or being blamed for the incident. Let the survivor know that you believe them.

· Support- Many survivors of rape or sexual assault blame themselves for the incident. You can help by assuring the survivor that no one deserves to be assaulted, regardless of their actions. Assuring the survivor that they are not at fault is a very effective way to show your support.

· Offer- The process of seeking help can be daunting to a survivor, but the process is much less intimidating if the survivor has support. Offer to help the survivor follow up on resources or offer to go with the survivor for emotional support.

· Be aware- The survivor has just experienced significant trauma and violation. Be sure to monitor your body language, verbal language, and proximity to the survivor. It is in your best interest to remain neutral and let the survivor guide your interactions.

· Give power back- Sexual assault, in itself, is a traumatic loss of control. During an assault, an individual’s right to make decisions about their body and control the contact they have with another person is destroyed. After the assault, this loss of control may result in difficulty making decisions or asserting feelings and needs. As a support person, you can help to restore some of their power and control by letting the survivor choose their course of action. You can offer resources to help the survivor, but be careful not to pressure the survivor into anything they do not want to do (reporting to police, seeking medical attention, etc.) The process of healing is very personal and the survivor ultimately knows what is best for them.

When someone you care about discloses an experience of sexual assault, it can be difficult to know what to say. If you are lost for words, here are some supportive, helpful things you can say:

· “I believe you”

· “I am sorry this happened”

· “This is not your fault”

· “I am here for you”

· “Are you okay?”

· “Do you want me to come with you to get help?”

· “I’m glad you told me”

· Victim Blaming- The act of blaming the victim for the crime that was committed against them. Victim blaming attitudes marginalize the survivor and make it harder to come forward and

report sexual assault. If the survivor feels that they are being blamed for the assault, the survivor will not feel comfortable coming forward and talking to you. In some instances, victim blaming can create trauma equal to or greater than the assault alone.

o Examples of victim blaming:

§ “Why were you walking alone?”

§ “What were you wearing?”

§ “Were you drinking?”

· The bottom line is: regardless of any behavior displayed by the survivor, the decision to rape or assault is that of the perpetrator. The survivor is never at fault for rape or sexual assault.

 

· Directive speech- Telling the survivor what to do or forcing the survivor into making certain decisions may be harmful to the survivor. When someone has experienced sexual assault, they lost the power and ability to be in control of the situation. When a survivor feels that they are being forced to do something (report to police, go to the hospital), it continues to feel that they are out of control and can lead to further trauma.

o Examples of directive speech:

§ “You have to report this, what if he/she does this to someone else”

§ “You should go to the hospital”

§ “Tell me who did this to you”

· It is best to refrain from any directive language. You can always offer options and offer your support; however, the steps in the healing process are ultimately the survivor’s decision.

 

· Violating confidentiality- When a survivor discloses sexual assault to you, it means they are trusting you with a very serious and traumatic aspect of their life. Violating that trust by sharing information about the survivor or their experience can be devastating.

o Examples of violating confidentiality:

§ Confronting the perpetrator

§ Sharing details about the assault with friends or family

§ Talking about the assault without the permission of the survivor

· If you are struggling with what to do or how to help the survivor, it is best to talk with confidential professionals for guidance. The MSU VOICE Center or MSU Counseling and Psychological Services will be happy to assist you in a safe and confidential space.

If you were assaulted or harassed by a student, faculty, or staff member you can report the incident to the Office of Institutional Equity, 406.994.2042. This office will work with you to provide accommodations so you can be safe and successful at MSU. A VOICE Center advocate can accompany you to this meeting.

If you decide you would like to pursue a formal investigation through MSU, Title IX investigators will investigate the report and submit the findings to the Dean of Students or Human Resources. When allegations of interpersonal violence or misconduct are brought to the Office of Institutional Equity, and a respondent is found to have violated the MSU nondiscrimination or sexual misconduct policy, serious sanctions can be issued to help ensure that such actions are never repeated. Depending on the findings of the investigation, the Dean of Students may impose sanctions that include but are not limited to, no-contact orders, educational mandates, suspensions or dismissals from the University.

* MSU protects victims of sexual assault by not charging them with alcohol or drug violations of the Student Code of Conduct.

The MSU judicial process through the Office of Institutional Equity is independent of the Criminal Justice process. Victims of interpersonal violence can choose to pursue charges in either system, both systems, or to not bring any charges against their perpetrator. Advocates can help you assess this option as well. If you would like more information on MSU’s policies and judicial process, you can visit — https://www.montana.edu/policy/discrimination/— or contact VOICE Center at 406.994.7069.

Any student or visitor with questions or concerns about sex discrimination or sexual harassment or who believes that they have been the victim of sex discrimination or sexual harassment may contact the Title IX Coordinator for assistance.

MSU encourages reporting to the police at the earliest possibility; but even if a victim chooses not to report immediately, a report can be made later. Reporting an assault is not the same as pressing charges and does not mean you have to go to court. At the MSU Police Department, you can meet a detective or officer to make a report without immediately triggering a full scale investigation. You can learn more about the process, meet the people involved, and make an informed decision. A VOICE Center advocate can accompany you to any of these meetings or work with you to schedule them in a space you feel comfortable. * MSU Police Department protects victims of sexual assault by not charging them with alcohol or drug charges.

If you make the decision to press charges, an investigation will occur and the City or County Attorney’s Office will review the case and determine (with your input) whether or not to file charges in the case. Investigations can take several weeks and/or months to complete before a decision may be made about whether or not to file charges. If charges are filed, a victim-advocate from the Attorney’s Office will keep you notified of the case and assist you through the process.

For more information about reporting a sexual assault to the police, visit http://www.montana.edu/police/crime%20reporting.shtml

You can also file an anonymous report about the crime (or any crime you witnessed) through MSU’s Silent Witness Program by emailing [email protected]. Visit http://www.montana.edu/police/silent.shtml for more information.

Even if you are unsure whether or not you want to pursue any type of investigation, you can still report the incident to either the University, law enforcement, or both. The VOICE Center, Office of Institutional Equity, and the University Police are all available to support your safety and well-being at MSU. Things they may be able to assist you with include:

· Obtaining a No Contact Order or an Order of Protection

· Altering the academic environment

· Residence changes

· Providing academic support services

· Connecting you with counseling or medical services

· Providing escorts on campus

· Speaking with your professors

· Arranging for re-taking or withdrawal from course

You also have the option to file an anonymous report about the crime (or any crime you witnessed) through MSU’s Silent Witness Program by emailing [email protected]. Visit http://www.montana.edu/police/silent.shtml for more information.

If you experienced sexual abuse as a child, know that you are not alone. Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse have similar reactions to coping with the history of abuse as an adult.

· Shame or blame- These reactions are incredibly common among survivors of sexual assault or abuse regardless of age. You may be feeling shame that you were unable to stop the abuse or confusion about the abuse in general. Know that what happened to you is not your fault and the responsibility for the assault lies with the abuser.

· Guilt- Many survivors of childhood sex abuse feel guilty about many different aspects of the abuse. Some feel guilty about allowing the abuse to continue by remaining silent and some feel guilty for telling someone about the abuse and bringing consequences forward for the abuser.

· Self-esteem- Survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience low self-esteem based on the negative feelings about one’s self after the abuse or the negative statements made to you by the abuser.

· Problems with intimacy- Often times, when someone experiences sexual abuse as a child, it is their first experience with sexual acts. When that child has grown into an adult who engages in consensual sex, those sexual acts may cause flashbacks or bring up painful memories of the abuse. Survivors of abuse may also struggle to set healthy boundaries that help them feel safe in intimate relationships.

Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse find it helpful to speak with an advocate or counselor about their feelings and experiences with abuse. This allows the survivor to share their story in a safe and confidential environment and obtain support through their healing process.

· Listen- Providing the survivor with a safe space to talk through their feelings without fear of interruption or judgment is very helpful.

· Believe- One of the most common reasons people do not disclose their experience with childhood sexual assault is due to the fear of not being believed or being blamed for the incident. Let the survivor know that you believe them.

· Support- Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse blame themselves for the assault(s). You can help by assuring the survivor that no one deserves to be assaulted. Assuring the survivor that they are not at fault is a very effective way to show your support.

· Offer- The process of seeking help may be daunting to a survivor of childhood sexual abuse; the survivor may feel like it is too late to seek help. Remind the survivor that it is never too late to begin the healing process, and you can always offer to help the survivor seek out resources for emotional support.

· Be aware- The survivor has experienced significant trauma and violation during their lifetime. Be sure to monitor your body language, verbal language, and proximity to the survivor. It is in your best interest to remain neutral and let the survivor guide your interactions.

· Give power back- Sexual violence, in itself, is a traumatic loss of control. During an assault, the child’s right to make decisions about their body and control the contact they have with another person is destroyed. As a support person, you can help to restore some of their power and control by letting the survivor choose their course of action. You can offer resources to help the survivor, but be careful not to pressure the survivor into anything they do not want to do. The process of healing is very personal and the survivor ultimately knows what is best for them.

Statutes regarding reporting incidents of childhood sexual abuse vary greatly between states. VOICE Center advocates or law enforcement officers are available and willing to assist you in finding the answers to any of your questions related to reporting.

 

As a member of the MSU community, you may have several options regarding reporting the incident to authorities. You can:

· Pursue Campus Disciplinary Actions

· Pursue Criminal Charges

· Pursue both University and Criminal Charges

· Report Incident but Choose not to Pursue Charges

· Report Anonymously

· Do None of the Above (you are still entitled to seek support through the MSU VOICE Center, MSU Counseling, or any of the community resources)

 

At The VOICE Center, we can help all survivors of childhood trauma, regardless of their decision to report. If the survivor chooses not to report, they will still be welcome to speak with an advocate, meet with one of our therapists, attend a support group, and access any of our additional resources.

 

If the survivor chooses to report, our advocates can support them as they report to the University or police, help navigate the process after reporting, explain any paperwork, set up support and safety measures on campus, and accompany the survivor throughout any court proceedings.

 

The following will provide you with more information about these reporting options: